i woke up this morning thinking that she would feel a bit better.

but never for once things would've turn out like we promised..it will be better the next morning..

never..

again..we had an argument last night..over some long past issue..even if i was wrong we know that the past will bring a lot of pain if we aren't letting it go.

i've heard it from somewhere before..if we do not let go of past issues or at least find a solution to it, that issue will be brought up for arguments even after many many years..

well, now i know why is it so.

anyway, i was greeted wif 'i know how to handle my own stuff, u dn have to be concerned'

whatever i said have caused a terrible terrible ending..but i've really thought through it..if we're not happy..why wanna drag on ?? i've been hurt many many times by this..but i still hold on..i begged u..i mean everywhere i've begged u before..even in the middle of the road..dear, u may not accept everything im saying..but ur stubbornness is killing u..u've been hurting me wif break ups for so many times..im not trying to revenge..im just telling the truth..we've been arguing almost everyday now.

last 2 nights..i thought u finally understood me and what im thinking about after so long..

but last night again we argued..where did i go wrong ? i have always treated u as the one i love most ! even if we are arguing, even if u dun even wanna reply my msgs or calls..i will still tink of u..rmb sunday ? i would've do anything to bring u to try out the ice dessert..but each time i fail because u r not even giving me a chance..i've begged and begged and begged..i've done so much to try to prove that i love u..even till now i do..

i couldn't sleep last night..i was waiting for ur msg..i did not dare to call u this morning cz i dunno wad time did u went to bed..so i called u a bit later hoping that u've had enough sleep..feeling a lil bit better..but now it seems like we're almost done..b, i still love u..reli ! but i hope u reli understand what im trying to tell..i noe i have my mistakes..but now i reli try to calm things down during arguments..i've already tried to stop to challenge..but i duno y things got worse than before..even thinking of u crying hurts me so deep..i couldn't wait till morning to call u..because i wanted to come by to see if u r ok..i reli wana hug u tightly..but my call turned out pointless..i reli hope things would turn out differently..if its because of my 'friends' that caused all these..i'd rather not be with them anymore..i guess the few of my old friends would do..i don't even dare to think of u being hurt again..i really hope i can be there for u..but me alone struggling is useless..i hope u will be there with me to work it out..

i don't even noe what sort of crap im writing all over this post too..

but..

b, i still have hope for us to change n go on..please msg/call me back ok.

i love u.